


After all this time

by socopotactico



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Romance, Soulmates, Soulmates AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25481398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socopotactico/pseuds/socopotactico
Summary: This story is set in an alternate universe in which on their eighteenth birthday people get to know the firsts words their soulmate will tell them. When Brianna reveals her feelings for her childhood best friend, will Jujubee be able to look past the fact that they aren't actually soulmates?
Relationships: Miz Cracker/Jujubee
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	After all this time

Some think of their marks as just a cool tattoo, and just hope for it to be short and easy to cover up. Others will drive themselves crazy trying to hear those few words. 

Brianna and Jujubee had this one thing in common; they were determined to find their own soulmate. From the moment they learned was love was about, they waited for the day they actually knew what to search for. 

Being the bookworm she is, Jujubee spent most of her free time reading on the subject. It drove Brianna crazy at first, but as soon as she picked up a book from Juju’s personal collection, she was hooked. 

They shared everything they knew and promised each other that when they would both turn eighteen, they’d act as each other’s wingman until both of them could settle down with their own soulmate. 

Luck was on their side, making their birthdays only three days apart from each other. So Jujubee swore she’d wait for Brianna to start their search for true love. 

Jujubee had her own place by the time she was seventeen, making it easier for her and Brianna to spend time together. Her parents wanted her to be closer to college, so they paid the rent every month, while Brianna’s family barely had the money to feed their children and often had to seek financial support from their own daughter. 

As much as Brianna’s mother loves her, she was quite relieved to know that her daughter was moving in with Jujubee, making their budget a little less tight. Juju was so excited to have a roommate. Especially after the first few months of living alone turned out to be lonelier than she had planned.

If they thought that their story was starting a brand-new chapter then, the beginning of their soulmate search was the start of another book. 

“I don’t want to look.” Brianna covered the new tattoo on her wrist with her right hand.

“You have to! Come on, Cracker, this is killing me!” Jujubee grabbed her wrist and tried to move her hand away, but Brianna wasn’t going to give in yet.

“What if it’s really bad?” Brianna asked, locking eyes with the taller girl. 

“We won’t know until you look.” Jujubee shrugged.

“You look first.” Brianna sat down on her bed and held out her wrist for her best friend to discover the words engraved into her skin.

-That’s my seat! I was here first.-

“Well, you won’t have trouble with that one.” 

Brianna dared to open one eye, reading the words one by one.

“You want me to sit in random places?” Brianna asked, looking up to see her best friend’s excitement level increased.

Jujubee nodded, giving her friend one of those smiles that couldn’t mean much good. She then proceeded to drag Brianna off the bed and standing up. “Exactly! Now put on those heels. We’re going out!” 

“Wait- Can I see yours again?”

Juju lifted up her sleeve to reveal the words on her left shoulder. 

-Why is everyone here so mean to me?-

“What is your plan exactly? Be rude to strangers?” Brianna asked, tracing the words on Jujubee’s soft skin. 

“And I’m going to need your help.” Jujube replied, earning an eye roll from her friend. 

“Why do I have to do it?” Brianna complained, throwing on her pink jean jacket. 

“Because you signed up for it, wingman.” Juju winked, grabbing Brianna’s hand and dragging her to the nearest bar now that they were both legally allowed to get in. 

~

Putting words in someone else’s mouth is much harder than the two girls had anticipated. Nothing was even remotely close to the words marked on their skins. 

But they would never give up on their soulmates, so day after day, they hung around local bars and waited on strangers to walk in to try to find out whether they are the one. 

As hard as it was for Jujubee to act mean when everyone knows her to be such a sweetheart, she was mastering the art of throwing shade quite quickly. Brianna would always stick around to hear what witty remark her friend could manage to come up with, switching it up every time as if she’d been bullying kids for years.

She wasn’t going to tell anyone, but Juju had a blast bitching around strangers, using her tattoo as an excuse to be as mean as she’d ever dreamt to be. It was taking her back to all the times she’d been treated badly in high school for being the only kid out of the closet. 

Most days, kids would voluntarily spill drinks on her or throw food in her hair, but Brianna always told her that the best way to get them to stop was to ignore them. She’d wanted to get up and punch all of them until they were covered in blood on the cafeteria’s floor, but then Brianna would hold her hand and she’d forget all about her anger.

Brianna had her fair share of bullying too. Being the shortest kid in her class, she was an easy target, but after taking karate classes, kids knew not to mess with her. So they moved on to another victim who turned out to be Jujubee. 

Brianna offered her many times to break bully’s necks in the parking lot after class, but Juju wouldn’t want her only friend to get in trouble and risk being suspended, leaving her alone in the middle of a crowd of haters. Jujubee couldn’t live without Brianna, and as they grew older, she realized that she never wanted to live without her.

But Jujubee would never lose her because Brianna needed her just as much. Everyday Juju shared her lunch with Bri, who’s mom couldn’t afford to get them lunches most of the time. Jujubee’s mother was aware of all that Cracker’s family was going through and always packed a bag of cheesy crackers in her daughter’s lunch for Brianna. This is how she got the nickname of “Cracker”, and only Juju was allowed to call her that. 

When they moved in together, Brianna took over cooking duties saying that it was a way of paying her back for all that she did when they were younger. She found a hobby out of baking cakes and always made her famous three tiers chocolate cake for Jujubee whenever she’d notice her friend was feeling down. Jujubee’s heart melted every time Brianna would do something this nice for her. She felt like she didn’t deserve someone like Brianna, but she needed to make sure that her friend never noticed because she couldn’t let her go. 

On a Friday night, Brianna was sitting on a stool at the bar, staring at Jujubee, who was once again hitting on a stranger, having a blast. 

“Looks like someone’s enjoying themselves.” A manly voice calls behind her. 

“I’m supposed to be helping my friend find her soulmate, but it’s really hard seeing her with all of these girls.” Brianna confessed to the kind stranger who dared to approach her after she ordered her third shot of vodka. 

“Look, I don’t know you but I can tell you’ve been eyeing her all night.” He grabbed a stool and sat down next to Brianna who wasn’t opposed to the idea of taking her mind off of Jujubee’s newest victim. 

“I’m not eyeing her, she’s my best friend.” She rolled her eyes as the bartender handed her the small glass. 

“Why don’t you want her finding her soulmate then?” 

“I don’t know.” She answered briefly before picking up the glass, but the stranger quickly placed his hand over hers to stop her from drinking the shot. “Look I just want to get wasted and forget about it.” 

“Not until you answer my question.” 

Brianna sighed, looking back at Jujubee, who was now waiting by the door, arms crossed against her chest as she waited for anyone to come by. 

“I honestly don’t know,” Brianna said as she brought her eyes back to meet with the stranger’s dark brown pupils. 

“I think you do.” He whispered to Brianna, giving her a subtle wink before getting back to his friends. 

Brianna picked up the glass and thought for a second about all of this. She looked at Jujubee and her heart ached, all she wanted was to forget about her for a while and stop worrying about the feelings she might be having for her best friend.

She closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath as she placed the full glass back on the counter and pushed it away. She’d done enough damage for tonight, she thought to herself, grabbing her purse and raincoat as she payed the bill and walked over to her best friend. 

“Come on, we’re going home.” 

“Are you alright?” Jujubee asked concerned as her friend held her arm, dragging her out of the crowded bar into the empty streets. 

“I just don’t want to get wasted barely a week after my eighteenth birthday. That’s just sad.” Brianna said as they started to walk back at a quick and steady pace. 

“Cracker, what’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing.” She lied. “Just a bit tired, that’s all.” 

“How much have you been drinking?” Jujubee asked, standing still in the middle of the sidewalk, trying to make eye contact with the other girl who just couldn’t face her. “Look at me, how many drinks did you have?” 

“Just two shots, nothing excessive,” Brianna answered honestly. 

“Alright. I won’t pressure you, but you owe me an explanation.”

Brianna nodded as Jujubee grabbed her hand and carried on with their walk back to the apartment.

Juju knew that something was wrong, she felt it as soon as she noticed Brianna was sitting all alone by the bar. At first, she didn’t think much of it because it might as well have been a tactic to get girls to come up to her, but the more time went by, the more worried she felt for her friend. Knowing Brianna, if anything was wrong, she’d come around at some point, so Jujubee knew better than to push her friend’s boundaries. 

She just made sure to keep an eye on her all through the night and count the drinks she’d order, keeping herself from stepping in until she’d be too wasted to remember any of it. 

Jujubee knew her friend better than anyone else, and all she could do was wait for her to open up. As hard as it was for her, she’d be waiting for her friend to feel comfortable enough to confess.

~ 

Avoiding. It’s all that Brianna knows how to do when she’s scared. She doesn’t want to tell the truth to Jujubee. A truth which she isn’t even at peace with. She’s in love with the wrong person. After all the years they’ve spent fantasizing about their soulmates, Brianna wanted none of it. 

Because when she thinks of Jujubee holding someone else’s hand and giving them all of her love, it makes her sick to her stomach. She wanted to be the one who’d spend all of her time and energy on Juju, who’d remind her every day of her undying love for her as they laid down together in a tight embrace. 

She’d want to spend every minute to spare with Jujubee, for eternity. Yet, she ignored her every time the other girl tried to talk to her. Finding the strength to tell Juju the truth would be nearly impossible, but telling a lie just isn’t something she’d be willing to do. 

“I’m going for coffee; do you want anything?” Jujubee asked pulling Brianna away from her thoughts. 

“I’m good, thanks,” Brianna replied, not daring to even look up to her friend, standing a few feet away from her. 

“Bri, please talk to me. What is it that I did to make you hate me?” 

“I don’t hate you.” Brianna tried to avoid the conversation, but as she tried to make her way towards her bedroom, Jujubee pressed her hands against the doorframe, blocking the only way in, or in this case, her only way out of this sticky situation. 

“If you don’t hate me why won’t you talk to me?” The little spark in Jujubee’s eyes; hurt, perhaps confusion, was enough to make Brianna speak. 

“Because I don’t know how to tell you.” 

“Tell me what? Did something happen at the bar? Did you meet them?” Jujubee asked, raising her voice but still keeping that kind tone that informed Brianna that she wasn’t mad at her. 

“I don’t care about my soulmate!” Brianna yelled to her friend. She locked eyes with Juju only to notice that her friend’s eyes were welling up with tears. “I don’t want some stranger my I only want... you.” 

Her voice cracked on the last words. It was soft, barely audible, but she couldn’t bring herself to say them again. 

“Cracker, what do you mean?” Jujubee placed her right hand on her friend’s shaky shoulder as she forced eye contact. 

“I love you, I love you so much and I know that it’s wrong, but I can’t stop thinking about you.” Looking into Jujubee’s dark pupils always brought Brianna comfort, but as she told her those few words, she’d never felt more intimidated by the other girl’s cold stare. “In ways that friends shouldn’t.”

“You don’t mean this.” Jujubee hurried to say. “You have someone out there waiting for you and that someone isn’t me.” 

“But I don’t want anyone else.” Brianna’s words made Jujubee’s eyes fight off tears she couldn’t tell what for.

“Stop this! All you’re doing is just confusing me and I don’t need that! I’m going to fall in love with the girl behind my tattoo and you have no right to stand between us.” 

Jujubee headed straight for the door as soon as she spoke those last words. She needed some fresh air or a strong dose of alcohol. Couldn’t quite tell at this point, because when she’d feel like this, she’d always go to Brianna for advice. 

Two hours later she arrived at the only place she could seek comfort. Standing on the dusty doormat, she dared to knock three times, waiting for a familiar face to let her in. 

“Hi, mom.” She smiled through her tears as her mother pulled her in for a hug. 

Her family meant a lot to Jujubee. She’s just always been scared to come back home after leaving her mother to live alone in such a neighbourhood. She barely spoke to her mother, so she knew there was a slim chance of her closing the door on her for arriving unnoticed. 

At first, she was taken aback by her mother’s quick display of affection, but she wrapped her arms tightly around her and wiped her tears against her mother’s white blouse. 

“To what do I owe the honour of such a pleasant but unexpected visit?” Karisma asked as she served her daughter a warm cup of coffee. 

“Well, I turned eighteen last month, thanks for the card by the way, and I’m already having problems in my love life.” Juju explained as she finished munching on a homemade orange and cranberry scone. 

“Did you already meet them?”

“No, it’s not about them. It’s about Cracker.”

Jujubee took a sip out of the comforting beverage and carried on. 

“She told me that she was in love with me. And she’s not my soulmate! I can’t have feelings for someone I can’t be with.”

“But you do?” Karisma placed her hand on top of her daughter’s, squeezing gently. 

“I think I do. I always feel weird when I’m around her, it’s like pure utter joy mixed with something I can’t quite understand.

“Love?” 

Jujubee nodded, looking down as a tear made its way down her cheek. She didn’t even bother trying to wipe it off, she embraced how pathetic she must’ve looked like, falling in love with someone with whom she can’t be with. 

“You two always had a strong bond, you know, I’ve always had hopes for the two of you. Ever since the day you two met, you’ve had that connection, I remember it as if it was yesterday.” 

“Some kid bullied her and I shared my tissues with her, it’s not that big of a deal.” Jujubee didn’t want to talk about Brianna. She wished that the other girl could disappear for a while, forget she even existed because Jujubee knew that she’d never been able to forget her even if she tried. 

“Not exactly, darling. If I recall, you were the reason why she was crying.” 

“I’d never voluntarily hurt Cracker.” Jujubee’s never been one to throw fists at anyone and as far as she can remember, she was only taking the punches to protect her friend. 

“Brianna arrived at preschool a month later than everyone else, and one morning as I dropped you off to the common room, there was this little Goldilocks sitting in your assigned chair. You walked up to her, told her that she was in your seat and she started crying. I remember her running off the bathroom and whispering something about how everyone at your school was being mean to her on her very first day.” 

“What did you just say?” Jujubee rested her mug on the coffee table right in front of her. Her eyes widen and her shock painted all over her face. 

“You ran after her and that’s how you two became friends.

Jujubee rolled up her sleeve, showing her mother the words inked into the flesh of her left shoulder. 

-Why is everyone here so mean to me?- 

A smile formed on Karisma’s lips as her heart filled with pride. Her little girl found her soulmate. 

“What are you waiting for! Go home and tell her!” 

“But mom, I literally just got here.” Jujubee tried to reason her but love can’t wait. 

“You can always come back. She’s more important.” 

Jujubee wanted to argue with that statement, but she needed to see Brianna as soon as she could, so she grabbed her car keys and hugged her mother goodbye, promising that she’d call her as soon as all is said and done. 

Driving off into the sunset, to the girl she’d love for eternity. 

~ 

Looking out the window, minutes turned to hours and Brianna slowly lost hope for Jujubee to come back for the night. As the sun set, Brianna’s heart felt empty, simply hoping for one thing; for Jujubee to be safe. Wherever she was, whatever she was doing, and whoever she was with, all Brianna’s ever wanted was for Jujubee to be happy. 

The sigh of her smile was enough to brighten Brianna’s days. To hear her laugh was the only music she’d ever need. She wanted Jujubee by her side, hoping that she didn’t throw their friendship out the window. 

Because that’s all they ever were, right? Friends. There were never times where they felt as if time stopped and the rest of the world didn’t matter just because they had each other. They’d never fall asleep in each other’s arms because it’s where they felt safe; together. 

Brianna didn’t want to close her eyes on what they’ve had, but if that’s what it took to look into their future, all she wanted was her best friend back. 

She could handle rejection, after all, she’s seen it coming from miles away, knowing just how badly Juju’s been wanting to meet her soulmate. One thing she couldn’t get through is losing her best friend. A life without Jujubee to share it with, wasn’t one she’d like to see. 

Being the ray of sunshine that she is, Brianna tried to stay positive and think of ways to get her friend to forgive her. She wasn’t giving up on Jujubee. 

If she had to fight for their friendship, she was going to. 

As Brianna was snacking on a bowl of blueberries, she got surprised by the sound of a key being turned into the front door’s lock. 

The heavy door slowly opened and Jujubee threw her coat on the couch, locking her eyes with the blonde angel sitting by the counter. 

“I’m so sorry, Cracker. I overreacted because I was scared to admit that... I love you too.” Jujubee grabbed both of Brianna’s hands, looking into her eyes as if nothing else mattered. 

“Juju, I don’t care that we’re not soulmates. I don’t need anyone to tell me who to love, I know that I want to be with you.” Brianna knew just how much soulmates meant to her friend. Not being soul bounded might affect the future of their relationship, but if she’s got one chance to show Jujubee how this bound doesn’t matter in the long run, she’d give it a try. 

“That’s the thing, you see. You and I are soulmates.” Jujubee happily delivered the big news, but it didn’t quite get the reaction she’d hoped for. 

“You know that we are not, and I don’t mind-” 

“Cracker, do you remember the first day we met?” Jujubee cut her off. “The first words we’ve ever told one another.” 

“No.”

“Well, my mother does. Look at your arm.” 

Brianna found it hard to even move, her body was tense, her thoughts were fighting for a logical explanation. She couldn’t believe that any of this was true.

Jujubee’s finger traced every letter of Brianna’s tattoo. 

“These are the first words that I’ve ever said to you. Do you know what that means?” 

Tears that she was once fighting back ran down Brianna’s cheeks as she looked into Jujubee’s eyes, sharing the same expression. Brianna felt butterflies in her stomach, her adrenaline was kicking in, nothing but happiness was filling her little heart, ready to explode. 

“You’re my soulmate.” She whispered in a shaky voice, earning a nod from Jujubee. They were gazing into each other’s eyes, hands tied together like puzzle pieces, nothing but a comforting silence could be heard through the apartment, and everything felt so right. They let the world fall into place as their truth was sinking in. 

“It’s always been you, I’m sorry that I couldn’t see past the walls I put up.” Jujubee rested her hand against Brianna’s cheek, her thumb flicking away a stray tear. 

“It doesn’t matter, the past is in the past.” Brianna took one step closer, wrapping her arms around Jujubee’s shoulders. 

Their lips met in a soft kiss. Years of holding back were put into it. All those times they’ve wanted to do this before, but wouldn’t admit it to themselves. As they held each other, both of them shared the same thoughts.

~I’m never letting her go. ~


End file.
